--november 2011--08,Call me Ms. rain

-God Bless-
Dear Ary JC,
Today I just feel like before,even if he was called me 2 days a go,but that don't mean I feel better,I feel he was far away for me,he was changed with all his attitude,maybe this is the way maybe..show me that he's not the one for me,since with all our debate and our apart..our relationship full with debate since we make a relationship and until now there is no conclusion about that..always debate and then no conclusion..feel sad, how.? Padahal how I love him so..with all his flaws,but he never understand me,,he just make me crying so many times and after that he just call me and say that I love you so..that make me feel happy and feel better again..do I crazy coz of love..? or coz of Him.? what's wrong with me..? where is Lusi that used to never do this for a guy.? where..? is this the real or I'm just A fake when I'm young.? i do not know..as i know so many people in this world become fool and dumb when they're falling in love,,include me.I'm just human..when I falling in love I do the same thing ..forgive him,love him and love the way his lie..but I miss  when someone can make me turn away for him,I just wanna wait someone can help me for this frustated situation, who can make me feel well and ofcourse he understand me well love me as who I am, not because He want something..I do not say Myman rite now make like that to me, I just want he know and understand me how i love him so..and I deserve better..I always try mybest to make him happy..try not to make some debate,but it's look like he never care about this relationship..he never know so many times and so many chance I ignore because love and just survive stay love him..so many people I forgot..i ignore and I never realize someone outside love me..so many people exactly..;-(,,I was make some commitment..and it was make me feel sad,when He said two days A go..he make some communication with his sister's friend,in his hometown..I dont know what her job exactly, but he said she is a civil servant..civil servant..alrite..just it make me feel terrible.,usedt to when I make a relationship with Mr. Roy she said that His mother want him make a relationship midwife..because of she is a civil servant.that's it.! and i can accept it..finally when it happen again and I feel like de javu..no..not dejavu exactly..this is really happen to me and what hurts..am I ever make like this to a guy..? I dont think so..but why..why this happens repeatedly.?when this happen to Me when I make a relationship with roy..and Again..with Mr. Kudo..hahaha..Poor Iam..I'm just a diploma degree..work in a little Bank,,and you know.? If i say I work in ANZ bank..and so many people said..What's that..? what kind of company is that.? Gubraaaakkk...astaganagaaaaa,,,I can't believe,there are so many people who not familiar with ANZ..we're international Bank and we're the correspondent bank for AUD..and this is weird..so many people in this world especially myfriends do not know about ANZ..pOOr..;-(,,and then finally I can't hang on with all this situation,,,baiklah ..maybe myfriend are true,I must leave himmand try to looking  for the others..;-)..maybe it's not make me feel better..Alone is Better...Mr. Kudo..you're the only one..but it's look like you do not want to be the one for me..finally I'll try to looking for the others..maybe if we're over and you said to me "baby..it's ENOUGH"..and that's enough..I just maybe crying and like a foolish people cry day after day ..and after that try  to looking for the others..maybe in college..but not in office..no one handsome guy here..;-(..but this is just fake, aslinya..aku g setegar itu koq..mungkin masih menikmati hari2 yang sendiri..merenungi nasib,hidup dengan masa lalu dan kenangan2 yang ada,,after that mungkin menunggu seseorang yang bisa ngalihin perhatian aku dari dia..mungkin ..who knows.? there's so many guy diluaran sana..maybe the one still thinking me until rite now..I just need the time for all this, hati aku juga g terbuat dari batu karang yang g bisa ngrasain apa2..I'm a sensitive girl..susah nglupain hal2 keq gini..but I believe..someday there will be a  guy..a right person..a man..will love me as who I am..and actually I falling in love with him too..and then I know he's Mysoulmate,,the one for me..;)..
I believe God was make a plan..a soulmate for us..AKu percaya soulmate itu ada . . .dan aku percaya..Love at the first sight..!!!   sangat percaya..
:D

-God Bless-